“Family Farm” – Michigan (circa late 1990s)
I am a strange mix of emotions and likely shouldn’t be at the computer. Although I’ve never drunk-dialed anyone (that I can remember), the outpouring of emotions I’m likely to express right now could rival any liquored up frat boy. I will try and keep myself in check, but I make no promises.
Today, I am getting things in order and will fly from Vancouver to Michigan, to our family farm where I grew up. It’s an expected trip brought about by an early morning phone call from my father telling me of my mother’s early morning heart attack. I always answer calls before 8am with extreme trepidation. You see, it was only nine months ago that I received the call about my brother’s stroke. And, a few years before that when my father had an impromptu quadruple bypass.
I’m often torn whether I should be a poster child for the American Heart Association or one for a movement to prove Cooking Kills.
Fortunately, my mother is in good condition although she’s still being poked, prodded, and analyzed. She seemed as lively as ever when I talked with her, more concerned about being bedridden than anything else. She’s always been an active woman, not the type to watch TV but instead spends her time crocheting, quilting, cleaning, farming, gardening, baking or cooking.
I joked with her and asked if this was a ruse to get me home for Mother’s Day.
Many of you are likely preparing to celebrate the upcoming holiday, some with mother’s living and many with mother’s already passed. The holiday is somewhat deceiving and it bothers me. It’s medical emergencies such as the one today which bring clarity to my issues with it — don’t ever hesitate to tell someone how much you love them. Don’t wait until a holiday to share your feelings, don’t let it be a marker on which you verbalize your love or celebrate someone you care about.
You just never know when or if you’ll reach that next milestone together.
As another blogger mentioned this week when reflecting on a personal loss, it’s a good practice to end each phone call or email with ‘I love you’. You never know when you’ll last speak to someone, so why not end every communication on a high note.
If I stretch to see a silver lining, I will get to visit the farm just as it’s coming to life with Spring flowers. I’ll make sure to take my camera and document everything. Last week, my mother found 1 large morel mushroom and I’m hoping to go wild mushroom and asparagus hunting while I’m there. Two activities which I miss. Also, I’m hoping to get my hands of a few recipes and would like to photograph some of our family kitchen heirlooms.
In my absence, Eating Out Loud will remain quiet on my end. Dial-up access in rural Michigan can be problematic. So in lieu of posting this week, I’ll leave you with a wonderful post from Mike Licht. In honor of Mother’s Day, Mike prepared a wonderful list of videos featuring moms and grandmothers cooking. Watch the videos and reflect on your loved ones, both mother’s and others.
If you feel inspired, drunk-dial them, and in your own way … tell them how much you love them.
Update: As luck would have it, I’m having a strange Wordpress issue today that I likely won’t get resolved before leaving for Michigan. Comments which go into my moderation queue cannot be approved. I apologize to anyone who leaves a comment and does not see it appear. Fortunately, I can read them and will get them published when I figure out the issue.
Healthy spring rolls with peanut sauce
Mele Kalikimaka Holiday Martinis
An Adult Toad in the Hole
Pumpkin Nut Bars - Just in Time for Thanksgiving
Almond Crescent Cookies Recipe
Naan Bread Two Ways: Green Onion & Sesame
Strawberry Beet Green Salad with Roasted Tofu
My Slow-Roasted Addiction
{ 29 comments }
I read your blog very often but this is my first post. I just want you to know that you will be in my prayers and hope you have as good of a trip as possible given the circumstances.
Allen, my thoughts are with you and your family. The fact that your mom is awake and talking is a VERY GOOD thing. This means they caught it in time and more considered a very mild myocardial infarction.
Personally I have had two of those and have 4 stents in my heart. Every day I cherish life as most as I can, but I do forget sometimes. I’m glad you are flying home to spend some time with your mom. Both times I had my “episodes” my parents were on the other side of the country and my bad judgement told me not to call them as to not bother them. Screw that. I wanted to see my mom and have her tell me everything was going to be ok. Now you get to tell your mom that everything will be ok…
Enjoy every minute with your family. Hope your mom recovers soon. That will help her to see you. She is blessed to have a son that cares for her deeply. Have a good trip.
Allen, my thoughts are with you. I’m so glad you can go be with your family. Here’s to her quick recovery.
I was in tears by the second paragraph and am so relieved to hear that your mother is in good condition. I hope that she only continues to improve and makes a full recovery soon. Enjoy the time with your family and know that we’re all sending good thoughts your way.
I hope your Mum gets well soon Allen! Enjoy the fresh country air and quality family time.
Am glad that your mum is okay. Take care and enjoy your time with family!
I’m so sorry to hear your news, Allen. I wish you a safe trip and your mother a speedy recovery. She sounds pretty tough.
I know what you mean about those early morning calls. They are never good news. The last time I got one marked the beginning of the end for my dad. For months afterward, I kept dreaming about the phone ringing and would wake up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night! Ugh!
Allen, sorry to hear about your mum…I wish her a quick recovery. Enjoy your time with your family and I look forward to seeing some pics from your trip in Michigan.
oh allen, have a safe trip! Your mom and family will be in my thoughts! :)
Hi Allen, been a few hours since my e-mail and now I’m glad to hear that mum is apparently still lively and her same old self. I hope this means a very speedy recovery. Do take care and spread the love around while you’re there. My thoughts are with you and your mum especially.
Allen, I’m sure your mom will take much comfort from your love and presence. A big part of coming of age, for me, is the realization of my parent’s mortality. I am thankful everyday that they are still in my life and love me always and forever. And I love them, always and forever.
Stay strong. I wish your mom a speedy recovery, and my thoughts are with your family.
Hi,
I hope your mum recovers quickly! All the best!
Maree
First of all I am very glad to hear that your mother is in good condition. My mother died of heart failure when she was 45. I turned 42 today. Don’t think that scares the hell out of me? Yes it does. Especially since my older brother, who is now 46, just had not a quadrupel but a FIVE part bypass a few months ago. Scary stuff.
I agree, tell those that you love that you do love them, tell them often. See them as often as you can and cherish the time together. I miss my mom so much. It’s been 19 years since she passed and there have been so many times I would have loved to have asked her something about my childhood or just asked some advice in raising these 4 wonderful children I have. She never got to meet any of them.
Hug your mom and give her a kiss for me.
Happy Mother’s Day :)
Sending you and your family healing thoughts and wishes!
Safe travels!
Hi Allen – my thoughts are with you and your family, and hope that your Mum’s recovery will be fast and filled with memorable moments with you :0) Thanks for the reminder to say “I love you” more often – something I definitely don’t do enough! Have a wonderful time, rest up, and look forward to your updates! Happyt Mother’s Day – since being a Mum, I now have a little understanding of how deep a Mum’s love is for her children :0)
Oh dear. Hope your mum gets well soon. Thanks for the reminder to always tell my loved ones that I care.
Sorry to hear about your mother – but so glad that she seems to be pulling through all right. I hope she makes great progress and that you’ll get to enjoy the Michigan spring weather together. We’re all pulling for your family!
Sending good energy to your mom and your family, and wishing her a steady recovery.
A very touching post, Allen. I lost my mother about 6 years ago in a car accident. You are so right about the need to express gratitude beyond just holidays. For us, it was just a few days after her birthday so we have happy memories to part with, but that was not guaranteed by any means.
I hope your mother recovers quickly and completely. Tell her happy mother’s day for me.
My thoughts, love and prayers go to you as you spend this valuable time with your mother, Allen.
may this trip be healing on levels through and beyond the physical.
xxoo!
Oh Dear – I can just wish you all the best and hope your Mom turns out just fine. If you read this remember both of you will be in my prayers. Eat well – don’t drink until you feel your old self again. The food posts can wait…take good care
My thoughts are with you. When my late-Mom suffered a stroke a few years back, I, too, ended up dreading each and every unexpected phone call that came at odd hours. Just the ring would paralyze me with fear and dread. I think that’s the hardest thing about getting older — not the gray hairs, the crow’s feet, or the extra pounds we all end up getting — but watching the generation above us get more and more frail. I think that, beyond anything else, makes me feel older every day. My thoughts are with you, your Mom, and your family. May the recovery be speedy and the road ahead be nothing but bright.
Oh Allen, I hope everything will be OK. My thoughts are with you and your family.
Dear Allen,
I found my way to your site today, Mother’s Day, and my stomach lurched upon reading your headline. I’ll be thinking of you and your family today, and wishing you strength, and your mom, a quick recovery. Trips home are always fraught with emotion, but this one will likely be one you’ll always remember. I hope you find a few moments of peace in the spring, on the farm.
Sending you love and support.
Stacy
THANK YOU to everyone for your thoughts and prayers!
My mother was in the hospital for 3 days and is now home. She is recovering well and back to her normal self. :-)
I truly appreciate everyone’s support during this stressful time.
Allen,
So glad your mother is out of the hospital and doing well.
Count me as also in tears while reading this (and while typing this comment too, sniff). My husband just had stent number two put in last week – on the heels of stent #1 two weeks before. We discovered it when he had his first bout of angina that sent him to the ER.
After all of this, please remember to take care of yourself now as well, as heart trouble seems to run in your family.
Thank you for reminding us to tell people we love them.
Wow, thanks for the emotional post. I’m adding your family to my prayers.
allen, i just found your post last night while looking for lentil recipes (thank you search engines!) and have read probably 30 of your posts since then, even forwarding a few to friends. i love your style, love your ingredients, and have already planned 4 recipes to make today. sadly i just found this post and was also crying like many other readers of yours by the second paragraph. i wanted to thank you for your honest style of writing, thank you for your beautiful recipes, and i’m so glad to be your newest reader. i hope your mom continues to recover well, and i will continue to tell my loved ones how much i love them.
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